I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
