it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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