Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize