the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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