im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
