i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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