There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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