On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She bit a glass in half.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Your cock deserves a montage
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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