i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
they're like a gay fantastic four
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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