So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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