Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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