Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
