too bad you live with your parents still
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
