You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
