I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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