I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
