The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
