can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
