It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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