Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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