i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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