K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I need moral support for this bender
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
