I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I had to cum in my sink.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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