her vagine was all disorganized.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
