The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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