I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
