I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
