OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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