someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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