hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
