Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
