its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
