And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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