it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize