after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
