remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just blew my weed a kiss
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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