I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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