Where is the hickey?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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