Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
