I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize