He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
