what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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