yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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