Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
