imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
