If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
