She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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