I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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