is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
