The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
