i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
