so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
