and i looked up. we had an audience...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
