Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
These tits shall not be calmed
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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