he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
