if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize