This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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