She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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