oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
birth control should be required to get into college
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
