The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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