He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
