its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
