so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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