At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
