My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
